They always leave together and - most importantly - they never interact with any of these sex partners outside of the club. "If one of them finishes with their partner-for-the-night before the other, he or she simply waits in the common space of the event. "The older women are more… educated," he ventures. In contrast, Mark prefers the seniors-only soiree. "Younger men don't do anything for me," she laughs. Deanna prefers a variety of ages, even though she's not looking to be a cougar. Some are limited to middle-aged people or seniors only, while others include people of a variety of ages. They're allowed to sleep with anyone they choose and don't approve of each other's partners - but they do always talk about their experiences afterward. They go to a swingers' event every few weeks, which is frequently enough that they can now spot the "regulars," but not so frequently that they consider themselves part of that group. Within a few months, the couple had created a pattern. "We did talk about it because he wanted to know my feelings on it, and I wanted to know his to make sure there's no jealousy involved." Together, they decided it was something that had enjoyed and wanted to continue doing. "They are really, really private," Deanna describes.Īs Deanna and Mark drove home from that first experience, they asked each other the clichéd question: How was it for you? (Except this situation was anything but clichéd.) "We keep nothing from each other," Deanna insists. "The more people the room can hold and the more luxurious it is, the more you pay," Mark says, though Deanna adds that all rooms have "a radio for soft music, and a television and candles." No matter the pricing, all rooms are decidedly clean, sleek, modern and according to both Mark and Deanna, "romantic." One thing the rooms lack is a window. "You get a key to a specific room for the night." Also like a hotel, some rooms are pricier than others. "You book the rooms in advance," Mark explains, noting that the event space functions much like a hotel. After exchanging a few pleasantries about their likes and dislikes with these new friends, Mark and Deanna headed to separate rooms for the main event. "Discretion is key." So what do they talk about, then? That's easy: sex. "We don't talk about any of that," Mark says, explaining that anonymity is at a premium. Normally when people first meet, discussions cover basics such as what you do and where you live. "You start talking to them and you get to know them a little bit." It all sounded normal enough - except for the actual topics of conversation. "It's not like you just jump into bed," Deanna says. "It's not a place where everyone is drunk," Mark explains.Īfter surveying the scene, each zeroed in on potential partners and struck up casual conversations. I don't drink, so for me it took a bit longer to open up and talk to people." She wasn't alone though there were actually quite a few partygoers who didn't drink. "At first, I was uncomfortable, shy, and a little nervous," Mark says. Not surprisingly, however, both were still anxious. The mid-sized club they chose was set up like a standard cocktail party, but both were struck by the surprisingly homey vibe. With the legwork done, Mark and Deanna headed to their first swingers' party. Mark looked online for the right venue, and both were required to get STD testing in advance - along with bringing protection, a clean bill of health was a requirement from the party organizers. It took nearly six months after Deanna agreed to prepare and find a suitable event for them. I'm an open person, so for him I was willing to give it a shot because it's what made him happy." Their First Time (With Other People) "But with a little romance he talked me into it. "I was a little blown away," Deanna recalls. "She was kind of hesitant at first," Mark says now. He first suggested it in the midst of an intimate, candlelit dinner, but even in that setting, Deanna didn't exactly jump at the proposal. He and Deanna had been married for 3 years, and while he was nervous to voice this desire, he thought it would be a good way to break up the monotony of marriage.
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